the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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