SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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