when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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