Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize