I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
