A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
