I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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