can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
