remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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