I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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