ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
