You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
