The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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