Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
