remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
