I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
