we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Someone signed my nipple.
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