After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
