smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
