I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
