I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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