I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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