I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
