on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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