so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
