Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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