The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's never too late to be topless.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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