508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My bed smells like the plague
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize