Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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