Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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