cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
