So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just threw up on my dentist
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Text me some of your sweat
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