you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
