By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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