The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
