I don't think brook has ever known best
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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