why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
