He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
