the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You are a genius and a whore.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
