she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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