You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
