just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
COCAINE IS GR8
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
