i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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