Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
