Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
