Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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