They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
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I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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