Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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