Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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