dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
