it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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