P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
