I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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