so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
