Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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