yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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