Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my shit smells like andre
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
