Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
