Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
