Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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